I usually stay away from conversations about sexual orientation, except if it is about me. People like what they like; not my problem. To put more succinctly, it’s part i really do not care who you take to bed at night and part, If i fail to understand your sexuality, I do not find the use talking about it at all. I simply will not speak on things i do not understand or know enough on.
So excuse my reluctance to sound stupid on LGBT matters.
I get a call from my very homophobic friend on very unrelated matters. Somehow, a puzzle I am still trying to figure out, he starts telling me about a video he’s seen of a man who identifies as a Trans-ager. A trans-ager is someone who believes he is a child. This video my friend who referring to is of a 56 year-old man living in the body of 6-year old. He believes he is in need of care and wants a nanny to do that.
My dear friend’s indignant tone makes the story different levels of funny to me. He goes on to complain about how the world is condoning “trans-this, trans-that”. He bellows, “Soon you will find daughters telling their mothers they think 16-year-olds living in a 35-year-old bodies and start sleeping around. When i talk, people say i am crazy”.
I mean first of all i am having the laugh of my life, how upset my friend was. I completely understand that his frustration is well-placed but I can’t get past the trans-ager story.
Since I am tired of calling him my friend, we shall call him Steve. His self-righteous campaign is something i had heard many times. And my jibes/retorts aren’t helping the matter.
The conversation then goes left when he said “Sometimes i blame the women, you girls have made it so easy for gay men to feel like this is ok. They come around women, and you all think they are adorable and easy to hang out with and thats why they think it is acceptable.”
I am caught in mid-laugh.
At this point, i was blinking so fast because i realize this was about to be a tirade of barks brewing inside me.
“Are you seriously saying-”
Out of the immense respect and love I have for this Steve. I keep my cool and say “Well with all the bashing the LGBT community gets, have you thought that may be, its actually women who find comfort in their company? Lord knows we have enough rapists, chauvinists and patronizing dickheads on our plate to deal with.”
“You see, this what you always do, you always take a feminist stance when we are talking about these things”, He says. It is all I can do without rolling my eyes.
“First of all how did this become a feminist problem? Women are still trying to drive and vote in some countries in parts of the world. We are trying not to get married under age 10 and we are trying keep our cool in our very chauvinistic universe and you want to put LGBT challenges on us too? Ei Massa? We can only handle so much at a time. If you stop treating people whose lifestyles are different from your own with more respect, perhaps you would not feel the need to wonder about the blurring lines between sexuality, what’s right and what’s unacceptable.
Another thing that irks me is when people when people throw the God factor at sexuality. You don’t see anyone batting an eye when we are talking about fornication. Hell, even the word “fornication” sounds so archaic people have forgotten it is equally a sin as well, if we are talking about the Bible. Please me help me find how to measure which one is the bigger sin here. Tell that to the little catholic boys.
As a Christian, I subscribe to the principle of LOVE. Love that is inclusive and understanding. The human condition is too complex for generalization and ignorance. Get to know someone and understand their truth.
At the end it comes down to Man versus Woman problem still doesn’t it? It’s still the same two units, warring instead of trying to understand each other. If a man cannot handle or understand his own vulnerabilities, he is blaming a woman for making it easier for those that do.
The world is changing fast at a pace that makes it hard for change and adaptability. Instead we find others to blame for what we do not understand. It’s better to admit that we can’t keep up. That people, influenced by their truths and their experiences will live life the way they know how. We can only try to be good to one other and be accepting. Of course this is what the ideal situation should look like. But… ah well.